CASHCREAT.COM

check this out!its awesome!

http://www.cashcrate.com/
you can get money here and pay nothing for that at all!i just got my first 15 cents and am looking forward for more woohoo!

thank you

ryan thank you so much for being there for me you really helped a lot. i didn't know i would get help with my depression from you really. thank you i appreciate it. thank you for being a brother. thank you for being sensitive and understanding.

another one of my emotional break downs

I've been having loads of emotional break downs lately. all about my weight . TO EVERYONE OUT THERE, I DO KNOW I'M SKINNY, OR YOU THINK I'VE NEVER SEEN MYSELF IN THE FUCKING MIRROR. every single new person i meet "compliments" me on how fucking skinny i am. YANA, OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY! (oh really!! i didn't notice:/) YOU SHOULD EAT MORE!(seriously?that's what you do to gain weight???wow!usually i don't do that stuff, i don't eat, at all :/)ARE YOU ANOREXIC??(yes, i am because of your fucking questions) ARE YOU HAVING AN EATING DISORDER??(yeah, a very huge eating disorder, i consume as much calories a day as you do in a week, that's a disorder :/)
PEOPLE, PLEASE STOP RUBBING IT INTO MY FACE. you think i'm happy about it? i've never cared till i've met you all and started hearing this shit nearly every day. now i cry myself to sleep frequently. i'm anorexic and soon will be depressed if you all don't stop. trust me i eat A LOT A L-O-T i just can't help it!it doesn't depend on me!

and shakeel, you can go to hell and fucking burn there. no kidding. was very "nice" of you telling me that i'll die in two year because i'm underweight. thanks.

and mom, thank you for being nice and everything, saying that i'm perfectly fine but i'd rather have you watching my diet. but thank you anyway.

i've had enough

you know what...i've had enough...really..
i was waiting for you to talk to me for like the whole day..texted you.thank you for being sensitive.

yana:hey,where are you?
*about four hours passed*
carey:on the train home.
yana*overjoyed he actually replied*:oo,talk to me i'm bored to death and i miss you(how pathetic can i get)
carey:not now.i'm kinda held up.
nice right. i'm sick of it.yesterday i though of giving you the fucking last chance and you said you don't wanna miss your chance with me and i thought i'm not giving up, but who am i kidding. come on.you don't like me.you just don't.you created it,made it up.you say you like me bla bla bla bullshit. at this point i almost cried but you..you're an insensitive pig.

can't help but to insult you: Carey, you are insensitive, selfish, egoistic and stupid and you've lost all the chances i've given you.

you missed every single oh-so-obvious hint not because you didn't notice them, because you DIDN'T WANT to notice them. at this point i actually hate. how can you hurt me with your insensitivity like this. i'm complimented you on not giving a fuck, now i'm taking my words back. you have no heart and i hate you.

who am i trying to fool though, i like you, i'm attracted to you, you know what i'll even use words from the worst movie i have ever seen:you're like a drug,my own personal type of heroine(or however it goes) but now i'm so fed up and so pissed that i don't care
i need to switch to someone else and i'm trying to. i don't want you to go to States but now i feel like it's necessary to me. i can't see you everyday. it hurts. i'm not used to being all desperate. i used to be. but now you're making me feel disgusted about my own self. i really hate you..and i love you.

yes i wish we had a chance. and no i wish i didn't know you.

i don't wanna know you. i don't wanna talk to you. i don't wanna see you. get out of my face, Carey. get out of my life. you've missed your chances and you ruined our friendship.

make up your mind

i like you, really i do and you like me so what's the effin problem?? i mean seriously!you know what, if we don't take it to the next stage by next week then that's you can forget it. i'm eyeing someone else anyway so it'[s all up to you now.

Back to blogging since i have no one to talk to

wow..been a while. i took a look at your blog. god i miss those times we used to cry together for no reasona dnlaugh for no apparent reason too. why does life have to put things this way. for the good or bad, who know but it happened and there's is nothing we can do about it. keep in touch. didn't go so well after all. i can feel the ball of tears stuck in my throat bacause if i'll let it out there will be nothing to stop me. oh how much i want to turn back time. but i'm used to finding a bright side to everything. i haven't figured this one out though. maybe it's just an illusion. maybe my whole life is. but what we've had was real. friendship like this can't vanish. i wish things were at least a little different. i know you guys have your friends and i have mine. but it wouldn't hurt leaving a nice messege for me just once in a while. i'm not angry, i'm not pissed off. i just wish for someone by my side so badly that i can't help it. i don't need any random person. i need you both. i need you! i love you guys so much and sudden thoughts of you not caring hurts so bad. let's try to make a change. i beg you both.

P.S. I love you both.